First of all, the appearance of a person tells others about their personality. You guessed it, dress like one. However, this is just the surface. You gotta behave like one....This mini-guide will start from the basics, so if you are one, you have to bear with it. There are areas you might want to polish in, so this guide would be useful to keep you on track.
-Dress like one
It's easy to get the clothes. Any one from the garbage will do.
-Give that 'look' all the time
What's the use of having the 'Gangster' like clothes and showing the innocent face all the time? Squinting your eyes or forcing your lower jaw to the front so that it will always be the first component of your body to be injured whenever you bump against the wall are just some of the many examples you might be interested to use.
-Speak vulgar language
Whenever you're not happy with something or somebody, just spout any random vulgarities that comes straight to your mind. After which, explain how is it related to whatever you said at the front. (There are some exceptions)
-Change the subject
It might not be needed if you refer to this guide but just in case you realise that you don't have the upper hand in the argument, change the subject. Talking about how weird his body parts are might do just the trick. If not, falsely accuse him in front of everybody else. Accuse him of anything will do. Wait for your opponent to say 'I DID NOT!' The moment he says that, he lose. You can talk about there's nothing to hide. It will get him all so angry he'll lose his temper and you'll have the advantage.
-Be multilingual
What is the use speaking in a language your target understands? Completely 'flatter' your opponent using a combination of English, Malay, Tamil, Mandarin, African, Japanese, French, Hebrew and Greek vulgarities. This way, he or she would realise how incapable they are (they can't speak that language) and stand in 'awe' of your pro-ness instead.
-Never give up
The simple rule-whenever you're stuck in an argument, never give up! You have to end up winning. Even if you're in the wrong, remember to be loath to admit your mistakes.
-Learn Judo
It's better if you do, if you can't, learning the arm lock is a must. Practise it so that you'll know how much strength to use. Make sure you are in control and at the same time not hurting the person while performing it. This way, it can be considered as self-defense and you'll get out of trouble, if not, lesser. Tip: It's better to do it on the ground instead of standing up.
-Read the Rule book carefully
Rules are meant to be broken. Everyone is expecting you to break them. The rules are for you. It's for you to break them. Study the student handbook carefully and make sure you break every single one of them. Be special. After all, it's to be the coolest.
-Don't follow the trend and stay ahead
Create your own. If everyone follows you by wearing 'pipepants' (the school calls them), change it. You're suppose to be different. Instead, invent something as stupid like wearing 'pipeshirts'. You'll be amazed how everyone starts being 'stupid'.
-Study your textbooks
What? Study? Yup, study! Study during the holidays before the new year starts. This way, you don't have to listen to the teacher. Work hard for two months and enjoy the rest of the year. It's worth it. Surprise your teacher by scoring full marks at one test and failing the other.
-.....
Well, that's all for this handout. Being the coolest is to be special. Just look at Albert Einstein. Okay, a nerd. But it's because he's special which lead him to be so successful right? He was kicked out of school anyway.
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Mood: Sarcastic
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